one might say we're banned from that church
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just want to make out with him forever
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
