She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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