i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
