We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
