Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
