Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
