NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
