we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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