I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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