Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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