non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
