You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
