I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How does one acquire holy water?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
