unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
