I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
