I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
