Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
