Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
