am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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