Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
