can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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