Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
