I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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