Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
