From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
