Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
