There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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