Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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