thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
