this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
