idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
