I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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