I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
