Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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