If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
