I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
