I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
