I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
