Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
