The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
