Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
