You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
