I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
