She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
