I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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