just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize