just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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