Moan for me like Helen Keller
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
