He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
