i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
