are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
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