i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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