I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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