I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
