Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
